Whether easing into intercourse, preparing for anal sex, or enhancing your hookups, we’ve got expert-recommended foreplay tips to make every encounter memorable.
1. Ask Your Partner What Turns Them On
Open communication is key. Asking your partner what they enjoy ensures mutual satisfaction and builds trust. “Most people appreciate men who want to make sure they’re satisfied,” says Barbara Bartlik, M.D., a psychiatry professor at Cornell University. Showing that you care about their pleasure increases the likelihood they will reciprocate.
2. Sext Throughout the Day
Foreplay can start long before the bedroom. Texts like “Can’t wait to get naked with you tonight” build anticipation. Sexting, including sending nudes if both partners enjoy it, can create excitement that peaks when you finally meet.
3. Play Some Music
Music sets the mood and helps eliminate distractions. Choose tunes that match the desired ambiance—playful, rough, or romantic. Dr. Chelsie suggests playlists that transition through different moods to guide your experience.
4. Use Visual Aids
Engaging your sense of sight can enhance arousal. Watching something sexy, like ethical porn or an erotic movie, can help focus your mind. For those who prefer audio, try listening to erotic stories. Adjust the lighting and volume to create an immersive experience.
5. Grab Some Lube
Lube isn’t just for anal sex or intercourse; it enhances all types of touch by reducing chafing and making skin contact feel more sensual. Experiment with different types, such as warming lubes, but avoid silicone lube with silicone toys. Water-based lubes are generally a safe bet.
6. Play a Sexy Game
Sex games can make foreplay fun and engaging by stimulating all the senses and refocusing your mind away from daily stress. Wright explains that games have rules and guidelines, which help you stay present and make the experience more immersive.
7. Try a Vibrator
Incorporate a vibrator into foreplay to stimulate erogenous zones. Use it on various body parts like the labia, inner thighs, clitoris, balls, tip of the penis, and perineum. Vibrators aren’t gender-specific and can be a fun addition to any sexual activity. For prostate stimulation, consider a vibrating prostate massager.
8. Explore Other Fun Sex Toys
Toys aren’t limited to vibrators. Sucking and rotation toys offer different sensations. Communicate to find what you both enjoy and consider shopping for new toys together. Remember, toys are for everyone, regardless of gender.
9. Skip Foreplay Occasionally
Sometimes, you might both want to skip foreplay and jump straight to intercourse. Ensure both partners are fully on board. Tracy Thomas, Ph.D., a psychologist and relationship therapist, notes that long-term partners often understand when it’s okay to go straight to the main event.
10. Get Good at Talking Dirty
Dirty talk is incredibly arousing. “If you want to get them hot and bothered, brush your lips against their ear and whisper what you want to do to them,” says Ryn Pfeuffer, sex and relationships writer. “Be slow, deliberate, and as dirty as possible, and I pinky swear promise, I’m all yours. Work in some stealth eye contact, and OH MY GAWD.”
A Final Word on Foreplay
Enhancing your foreplay game can improve all sexual interactions. “The build-up of arousal is a huge determinant in the overall height of the sensory experience,” says Dr. Chelsie. Whether through role-play or focusing on erogenous zones, investing in foreplay can elevate your sexual experiences.
