Even if we don’t like to admit it, many people still see foreplay as just the warm-up before the “main event” of sex, especially focusing on male orgasm. What is foreplay? Foreplay is often seen as something you can skip on a busy day and only enjoy when you have plenty of time, like on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
This view is old-fashioned and only focuses on a narrow, traditional idea of sex. Quickies are fine, but it’s important to realize that foreplay is just as important as penetrative sex.
I’m a big believer in the value of foreplay, and here are five reasons why we should all pay more attention to it and less to the end goal of orgasm.
Elevating Foreplay
I’m pointing out something obvious, but it’s important to remember! Foreplay can involve all the exciting elements of intimacy – kissing, teasing, touching, oral sex… everything that gives you that delightful sensation.
A study showed that only 25% of people with vaginas reach orgasm through penetrative sex alone. This means that for most of us, the real fireworks happen during foreplay.
If you hurry through foreplay, you might end up missing out on pleasure and orgasms. So, it’s a good idea to take your time and savor every moment of it.
The Role of Foreplay Beyond Penetration
In heterosexual relationships, the ultimate aim of sex should not always be limited to “penis in vagina.” Instead, incorporating a substantial amount of foreplay can significantly enhance the overall pleasure. Devoting more time to foreplay ensures that you’ll be fully ready for penetration when the time comes.
In addition to aiding in lubrication and sustaining erections, foreplay plays a crucial role in relaxing your muscles, whether for vaginal or anal intercourse, ultimately heightening the pleasure for everyone involved.
The Magic of Intimate Foreplay
Foreplay is often the most intimate part of sex. Taking time to caress and explore your partner’s body makes them feel desired and attractive. Everyone enjoys feeling good about themselves, which can lead to heightened arousal for all involved.
Whether you’re with a long-term partner, a friend with benefits, or a casual hookup, the feelings of intimacy that stem from a good, extended foreplay session can work wonders for your sexual experience.
The Role of Oxytocin in Foreplay
Oxytocin, known as the ‘cuddle hormone,’ is released during sexual activity. It has a calming effect by reducing cortisol, the stress hormone.
Engaging in extended foreplay not only ensures physical readiness but also mental presence. This extra time allows you and your partner to set aside daily worries and anxieties and fully embrace the pleasure of the moment.
More Than Just a Warm-Up
We often fall into predictable foreplay patterns influenced by porn.
However, foreplay is the ideal time to experiment with a new toy, practice your dirty talk, or try out a sex game.
By dedicating more time to foreplay, you give yourself more opportunity to explore new experiences and sensations, rather than just focusing on the genitals.
Use this time to explore what really gets your partner going, and to have some fun – put the ‘play’ back into foreplay!
So, I think we should all turn foreplay into more game. As well as making sex more pleasurable for everyone, it can have emotional benefits such as reducing stress and increasing intimacy in your relationship.
Ignore anyone who says that you can have too much of a good thing: foreplay is always the exception.
