Having sex for the first time can feel intimidating, but with the right approach, it can also be a rewarding and enjoyable experience. Many first-timers stress about where to have sex, which condom to buy, or whether to shave, but focusing on the basics can make things go smoothly. One major concern is often what sex position to try. The good news is, you don’t need to jump into complex positions right away. For beginners, it’s best to stick to simple and comfortable positions that prioritize connection and communication over acrobatics.
1. Missionary Position
Missionary may have a reputation for being basic, but it’s one of the easiest and most beginner-friendly positions to master. Since both partners are mostly lying down, it’s simple and comfortable to execute. According to Engle, “Missionary is the best go-to sex position for anyone new to penetrative sex.” The face-to-face angle not only fosters intimacy but also allows for easy communication, ensuring that both partners feel comfortable and satisfied.
How to Do It: The receiving partner lies on their back while the inserting partner positions themselves on top and enters.
2. Spooning Position
Spooning is an excellent beginner-friendly position that prioritizes comfort and ease, according to Kerner. Since both partners are lying on their sides, there’s no need to worry about balancing or holding yourself up—you can simply relax and focus on the pleasure.
Engle highlights the intimacy of this position, as it allows one partner to hold or be held, fostering a sense of closeness. It also offers easy access for external stimulation, adding to the experience.
How to Do It: Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction. The inserting partner enters the receiving partner from behind.
3. Lotus Position
For beginners seeking romance and intimacy, the Lotus position is a perfect choice. It brings both partners up close, allowing for deep connection through kissing, neck caresses, or eye contact. It’s also gentle on the body, as you’re both sitting down.
How to Do It: The inserting partner sits with their legs crossed. The receiving partner lowers themselves onto their lap, initiating penetration. Once comfortable, the receiving partner can wrap their legs around the inserting partner. This position focuses more on rocking and grinding rather than vigorous thrusting, fostering intimacy and connection.
4. Facing Spoons Position
This position is similar to spooning, but with the added benefit of facing each other. It’s ideal for eye contact and allows for long, comfortable sex, as it’s easy on the body.
How to Do It: Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other. The receiving partner can lift their leg over the inserting partner to begin penetration. This position encourages closeness and intimacy while remaining comfortable for both partners.
5. Cowgirl Position
The cowgirl position allows the receiving partner to take control, making it a great option for those who want to regulate the depth and pace of penetration. It also offers excellent access for clitoral stimulation.
How to Do It: The penetrating partner lies on their back while the receiving partner straddles them. The receiving partner lowers themselves onto the penetrating partner, with their knees and shins pressed to the bed. The penetrating partner can hold the receiving partner’s hands for extra support. If needed, the penetrating partner can thrust upward while the receiving partner remains still.
6. The Mountain Climber
The elevated missionary position is a twist on the classic, where the inserting partner props themselves up on their hands, offering more control over the angle of penetration.
How to Do It: The receiving partner lies on their back, and the inserting partner lies on top, propped up on their hands. The inserting partner then enters the receiving partner, allowing for more movement and variation in the angle.
7. Stand and Deliver
The Standing Missionary (also known as “Stand and Deliver”) is a variation of the classic missionary that gives the inserting partner more leverage, perfect for those looking for a different angle.
How to Do It: The inserting partner stands beside the bed or at a countertop while the receiving partner lies on their back. The inserting partner penetrates from a standing position, and the receiving partner can choose to place one or both feet on the partner’s shoulders for added stability and depth.
8. Over-the-Shoulder Position
The Over-the-Shoulder Missionary adds a visual twist to the classic position while maintaining the same ease and access.
How to Do It: The receiving partner lies on their back and places one or both legs over the inserting partner’s shoulder(s). Once the legs are positioned, the inserting partner enters and begins thrusting. This variation provides a deeper angle and added visual stimulation for both partners.
When starting out, the most important part of sex is to communicate openly with your partner. Take your time, enjoy the connection, and don’t put pressure on yourself to be perfect. Focus on mutual pleasure, and remember that it’s okay to explore and learn as you go.
